


To love and be unloved

by TrashficParlour



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Cheating, Established Relationship, Jared is an idiot, M/M, Neglect, almost break-up, but can you blame him?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-14 03:37:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16032191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashficParlour/pseuds/TrashficParlour
Summary: So he didn't. So instead he walked up to his boyfriend with a wide smile. Hugged said boyfriend. Kissed that boyfriend. Without the knowledge that these lips had just kissed someone else not even an hour prior. Oh blissful ignorance, your name was Jared.





	To love and be unloved

**Author's Note:**

> i should be working on somethign else but eh, was in the mood for angst

Jared stared at Connor; took a deep breath. He could do this. He had his reasons. And his reasons were valid... Right? Maybe he was just being unreasonable again. Like always. That was probably it. He was always unreasonable. He was overreacting like always. Connor didn't have "bullshit reasons". He wasn't ignoring him. Right? He just always messaged him at the wrong time. When he was busy or asleep. Of course, Connor could answer when he woke up or came back... But maybe he just didn't see his texts. Or missed calls. Voice mails. Hell, even the one e-mail he sent. But when Connor did answer, it made everything okay. Because he loved Connor. He didn't wanna leave him. He ignored everyones advice. Everyone's pleas for him to leave the other. Ignored them because he loved Connor. That made everything okay.

Yesterday had been one of these days. But yesterday Connor actually gave a reason. A bullshit reason, but a reason nonetheless. Jared had texted Zoe and ranted to her. He always did. They were good enough friends and he knew Zoe wouldn't tell Connor. He trusted her. She advised him to leave Connor multiple times in the past, saying he was a dick. Saying he didn't deserve Jared. Saying what he did was far from okay. Jared didn't listen to her. He loved Connor and Connor loved him. Right? Right. So leaving him would be a mistake, at least in his eyes. And so he didn't. Zoe was upset but respected that he didn't want to. It wasn't her love life and she probably didn't have all the facts either. That's what she told herself. She didn't want to ruin a... happy... relationship.

Evan agreed with Zoe, telling him that it might be best to leave Connor, even tough he was way less blunt about it. He kept it down, rather asking Jared if he was happy with Connor. Usually Jared'd answer yes. But sometimes. Sometimes he'd admit he was upset. Start venting. Tell him how fed up he was with Connor constantly ignoring him. And then Evan would softly suggest that maybe staying in a relationship like that wasn't the most healthy. And Jared would agree. But he'd also say that he should probably address the issue before taking further steps. He never did. Every time he was less upset he felt unreasonable about it all over again. Or he just plain forgot until it happened again. And so the cycle continued.

That was until now. Now he stood in front of Connor. Ready to speak the words he needed to. But then Connor smiled at him with that damned soft smile. And all of Jared's anger and doubt vanished. He was reminded why he dated Connor. Because he loved him. And Connor loved him, too. So why should he end it? There was no real reason other than his dumb reasons that weren't real reasons anyway. So he didn't. So instead he walked up to his boyfriend with a wide smile. Hugged said boyfriend. Kissed that boyfriend. Without the knowledge that these lips had just kissed someone else not even an hour prior. Oh blissful ignorance, your name was Jared.


End file.
